Iraq - US Fashion Showdown Revealed!

Item!  Pentagon censorship may have kept it off of prime time TV, but we have found several pictures of the Iraq - US fashion showdown!  You won't believe the results!
By Jean Teasdale
Boy, was I dissapointed that I couldn't see live coverage of the recent fashion show in an undisclosed location in Iraq.  You know how I love to see men in uniform!  What gives, Pentagon censors?  Can't a lady see some military hunks? 

Well, thanks to "blogs" (what are those, people?) I've found a few pictures from the show!!  Sure, we don't have the official results, but if you know Jean Teasdale you can bet I'll reconstruct them for you, even if it takes me all night to pore over these hot pics!

Let's take a look at what must have been the formal wear portion of the competition:

The winner:  Iraqis!  Look at that immaculate collared and ironed shirt, those pressed pants, and of course..  the shoes!  You can see the wing tips even on the far away model!  In contrast, US model Paul Bremer looks like a car salesman with combat boots!  The only thing he has going for him is a tie, and no face cover.  It could be the picture, but his runway technique doesn't look good either.  No amount of matching white accessories can make up for those shoes!

Lets look at a couple other photos from the fashion show:

Well, here our boy has some runway technique at least!  And the audience loves him as well!  I'm not a fan of the headware on either side here, but at least our boy has some utility from his helmet - stopping bullets and whatnot.  As for the rebels, when did they get a Reebok sponsorship?  It hardly seems fair - our boys are stuck with mismatched cammo and rolled up pants for the runway - and the Rebels get brand name merchandise? 

Lets take a look at some of the models posing with vehicles:
Well, the rebels get points for baggy pants, but bare feet?  Sorry boys, there's no hope of competing with an airborne Hummer!  Even if you could make a good hip hop album cover..  Hey wait, is that Saddam pointing?  And where did the front man get that watch?  Bling bling, open shirt.. I hope he wasn't one of the casualties!

Okay Jeanketeers -  One more set of photos for ya!
Well, our boys finally take a prize with this one!  The lighting, those perfectly shaved faces..  but the choreography looks a bit too much like Gilligan's Island.

As for Jerry, when did the rebels hire him?  And it looks like he still has his backstage pass on!  Nice glasses old man! 

OK Jeanketeers, time for my verdict.  These Iraqis can use any victory they can get,  what with so many being killed and all!  I personally prefer the boys in crisp uniforms, but the locals must have been big winners at the show.  Hats off - if you have one!  I for one hope those troops come home soon!  They're welcome at my place!