The world famous Greek philosopher Democritus of Abdera rolled over in his grave again on Tuesday, reported New Hampster correspondents from the Aegean. Classicists from the UNH dept. of Languages, Literatures, and Cultures assume the activity is due to recent claims that "Democracy will be Brought to Iraq", by the occupying coalition. The area now known as Iraq was likely visited by Democritus, who traveled extensively in Egypt, Persia, and perhaps Babylon.
Historians suggested that Democritus' ideas of government by the people did not include government by people from a distant land. On condition of anonymity, one UNH classicist said Democritus did not approve of oligarchical command of imperial troops.
Hellenic scholars think Democritus' corpse is marginally stabilized by vestiges of his ideas of rule by the common man still present in some modern governments. In some circumstances people can choose which institutions to support by using their earned monies, and in trials by jury the common man can affect justice. However, extensive jury selection criteria, "representative democracies", and modern usage of the term "atom" likely offset any gains in corpse stabilization.
Representatives from the executive branch suggested the problem could be solved with the new GBU-28 "bunker buster" bomb.
Democritus rolls over in grave.